What does FAITH really look like?

The Lord has taught me a lot about faith and dependence on Him through our finances. I know that God provides in many different ways. Sometimes He shows us a way we can cut wasteful spending, sometimes He gives extra income or an unexpected gift from family or friends. I believe He even provides coupons & sales where we can save money on groceries or other needed expenses. I have heard the idea from so many people that "God's math is not always like ours. Sometimes the numbers may not work out on paper, but God is faithful to provide." I can testify to that myself. I know I had some months a few years ago when I was sure I wouldn't have enough to pay all of my bills and yet I did.

But I am trying to understand what exactly it means to walk by faith in the area of your finances. For example: If I have looked at my budget and reduced expenses in every way I can and I come up with say, $5000 in monthly expenses, and my income after tithing and taxes is exactly $5000, can I even consider another expense, or even more generous giving? Do you go ahead and give maybe an extra $100 a month to the poor (or a missionary, or building fund, etc.) knowing that you will be $100 short for your bills, trusting that somehow God will provide, but not having a plan yourself for where that $100 will come from? Is that what faith looks like? Is that how you learn to depend on God more? Even when the math DOES work, I know it is God who provided my job and who gave me wisdom to cut my wasteful spending or to resist impulse buys or to sacrifice some of my wants in order to avoid debts. But am I limiting my faith to what is logical?

Does "trusting God to provide" mean that He will give you new insight and wisdom in where you could earn extra $ or reduce your expenses? Or does it mean you take a step of faith not having any idea how it will work out, and you don't necessarily DO anything, you just trust that when the bills are due, you'll have what you need, even though the math doesn't work? I really am trying to get a handle on this, so I'd love some wise insight...

More to come soon...

This picture is off of my cellphone. I have better ones on the camera at home... We took Shelby (now 5 1/2 months old) to the beach this weekend and walked on the Boardwalk. She loved it... she let little kids come pet her, but when big kids or adults got near, she got a little scared and let out a ferocious growl that we're trying to work on stopping. She's all bark - she loves people once she knows them but gets scared of strangers easily.

I love Spring!

This time of year is absolutely beautiful. I can't help but smile when I step outside and feel the cool breeze and the warm sun and the colors are just fresh and vibrant. I love it! And then I step into my building each morning for work and begin the long trek to my office, each step taking me farther and farther away from the spring day I wish I was able to enjoy... sadly, I have no window in my office, or anywhere near my office. Each day that I leave for lunch presents me with a great temptation... "what kind of excuse could I come up with for why I need to work from home or take the rest of the afternoon off?" But I have yet to give in. Sigh. That's okay... I just have to pray that the weekends won't be filled with rain!

So... do I really have anything to say today? Hmmm... I guess not much. :) I'll post more when life gets more exciting!

Good Dog!

Shelby is starting to become a good little dog! :) We had friends over Friday night, and she was amazing. They fell in love with her, and we were just in shock at how sweet and good she was! Yay! She spent the night with her other grandparents on Saturday night and all day Sunday while we went to Chase City for John's baptism, and had no accidents! Woohoo! She learned from her Golden Retriever uncle Chevy how to chill and lay around. Good stuff! I tried to take some pictures of her but realized the batteries in my camera need to charge... Anyway, she still requires constant supervision when we're at home, but she got all kinds of brownie points with me this weekend and I began to see the hope that she will mellow out of the crazy puppy stage and we'll be glad we have her! :)

3rd Time's a Charm

Don't you love when the Lord confirms what He is showing you by bringing it up by several different unrelated means on multiple occasions! I had a conversation a few weeks ago with my friend Hope about the idea of the missional church and the impact it was having in her life. She sent me some reading materials last week and I was really challenged and encouraged by this concept which seemed to put words to the thoughts I have meditated on for years. Well, the very same day, I went to chapel at work (a daily thing that I had missed several days prior). The man who spoke never mentioned the words "missional church" but he shared what he had been learning from this book. And it was like everything he was saying was exactly what I had read from Hope earlier that morning. And then, this weekend, we participated in the missions conference at our church and I heard much of the same themes as one of the missionaries from Belgium shared and challenged us all. I'm excited to engage in this more. I've started reading Jim & Casper Go to Church, and it is very eye-opening. So far, I'd definitely recommend it! What a great reminder that the people who were usually offended by Jesus were the religious leaders, not the sinners. Hmmm...

What's my problem??!

I've had a slow morning at work, so I was browsing articles online about healthy snacks and ideas to take off a few pounds. I wrote down some great ideas, and reminded myself that it's really time to start shedding this extra weight I've put on in the last year. I've been drinking water, and have cut out sodas (soda-sober over 1 month now! yay!) but I need to step it up a notch. So I was all ready to head down to the vending machine to get a bag of low-fat pretzels, when an email popped up in my inbox.

My manager brought in doughnuts and they are down in the lounge. So with no further thought, I headed straight there, heated one up for 10 sec. in the microwave and came back to my desk to indulge in that warm gooey doughnut at my desk. As I inhaled it, I looked up to realize I was sitting surrounded by my bottles of water and notes on healthy snack ideas. :) I'm pathetic! I don't even really like doughnuts all that much. When will I learn?

Happy Tummy!

I don't know if anyone wants these recipes... but last night we made for the 3rd time a healthy recipe I found & love. It's super-easy and everytime we have it, we're like "yumm!!!" so I thought I'd pass it along...

Chili-Rub Steak Tacos
makes 6 tacos: serving should be 2, we eat 3 each!

1 tbs. chili powder
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. salt
pinch cayenne (ground red) pepper
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 lb. steak (the better the steak, the better the tacos, but you can use cheaper beef if you want, we use whatever good steak is on sale, last night was NY strip)
Corn Tortillas
Shredded Cabbage
Chopped Cilantro
Limes
Guacamole (we love "Wholly Guacamole" from Harris Teeter)

Shred 1/4 head of cabbage like lettuce. Chop fresh cilantro (about 1/4 c.) Trim fat from raw steaks. Slice into thin strips. Chili-Rub: Mix first 5 ingredients in a small bowl. (Will be crumbly). Toss steak with chili-rub to coat evenly. Cook in skillet on medium heat. Cook just until outsides get brown. Don't overcook! Heat corn tortillas in skillet with a little cooking spray for 30 sec. each side.

Spread guacamole on each tortilla. Fill with steak, cilantro, and cabbage. Serve with lime slices. Squeeze lime juice on tacos just before eating.

This is a super fast and easy meal. The original recipe called for making your own avocado cream sauce, but we love the easy pre-made guac! Also, if you don't want quite so much seasoning on your steak, you could rub the steaks and cook them before slicing. We like lots of flavor.

My husband does cool stuff!

Mike doesn't work here yet, but this is a job he is applying for and he already knows how to do pretty much what you'll see here. He has worked at one of the few labs in the country that does tissue engineering to make muscle. This company (Tengion) is currently engineering bladders, and working on kidney research and more.

When I saw this video, I was pretty fascinated at how amazing this technology is, and even more, that my husband will likely be a part of such amazing medical breakthroughs, if not at Tengion, elsewhere:

Just for Suzanne

Well... you say I don't update this thing enough... so I'm signing on to write some more. If only my life were so interesting that it warranted a daily entry! Last night...I worked late. We ate Taco Soup and cornbread (which I'm looking forward to eating again today for lunch!) I closed out a Princess House party which turned out to be a really good one, so that was exciting. We watched American Idol (except that I missed all my favorites because I was on the phone closing out the party!) I think it's past time for Kristy Lee Cook and Ramiele to go. Of all the rest, I'm having a tough time picking a favorite. Probably David Cook. But it's tough.

Then we wrote a new cover letter for Mike and finished tweaking his resume and he sent it off to the first (of hopefully several) jobs he is interested in pursuing! Yikes! So now I guess we need to get back to getting our house ready to rent! It may be a while, but now that his resume is back out there, we want to be prepared whenever he does get a good offer. So that means CLEANING and PAINTING and DE-CLUTTERING! And maybe I should just start by finishing the endless loads of laundry that seemed to pile up worse than usual when I was sick last week. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate laundry?! I think it's #1 on my hated-chores list. The rest aren't so bad... if only I had time! Keeping a house clean is a never-ending battle!

Well, that's my Wednesday morning update. :) Hope you enjoyed it!

TEST

So I'm starting to wonder if no one likes my blog. I know I don't have any adorable babies to post pictures of... but do I have any friends who read this? Cause no one has left me a comment in over a month! Hmmm.... just wondering!

Something New

Sometimes change is difficult, and knowing which decision to make is tough... but this time it's been so easy. Mike and I felt the Lord releasing us from the church we've been at for about a year and a half to search out a better fit for us. The first new church we visited, we both felt really clearly was a no. Then we went to the next one. We loved the worship service, were really blessed and challenged by the teaching, and we met a couple who invited us to their small group. We decided to go ahead and check that out too, and we absolutely know that God has led us here! It's such a great fit, and in the few short weeks that we've gotten involved, we have found new friends and soaked up the fellowship and great Bible study together. God is good.

There was some hesitation to uproot ourselves right now when we know that within the next year, maybe even 6 months, we will almost surely be moving again. But no matter how short this season may be, we are so encouraged to have such clear direction from the Lord, and to be able to connect and grow with a local church. As it turns out, almost everyone in our small group is in a time of transition right now! Community Church of Chesapeake is where we're at, if anyone is curious! :)

Fun in Raleigh...

Mr. & Mrs. Ehresman

Michael, Lex, April, Hope (+ baby#3), Elizabeth, Luke, me, Mike

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What a great weekend. We drove down to Raleigh on Saturday to witness Elizabeth (one of my LIFT girls) and Luke's wedding. We also got to spend Easter with Suzanne & Aaron, so it was just a wonderful 2 days with great friends. It's hard to believe it has been 6 years since I was hiking in the snow with those girls. We have really only gotten together at weddings (this made #6) but whenever I spend time with any of them, I walk away encouraged and challenged and reminded of the greatness and creativity of our Lord. I love that we are all so different, personality and background-wise, and that is exactly what becomes such a great blessing when we are together. I agree with the guys... we really should make a point to have a weekend retreat together sometime this year.

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We got to worship with Suzanne & Aaron on Easter Sunday and then we made a delicious Easter dinner together. All my favorites! The ham was so yummy, Mike & I stopped by the store on the way home to get one ourselves so we could have leftover ham sandwiches this week!

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We really enjoyed driving around parts of the Raleigh-area again. We would love to end up there if a job opens up for Mike. We'll see... But for now, it's back to work in Virginia Beach... yipee!

Living in a zoo...

We are dogsitting my parents' two papillons this week... and it's an adventure to say the least! Cody, Gabe & Shelby are pretty adorable all together.

Shelby and Gabe LOVE to play - they chase each other around and around the coffeetable and Cody loves to run with them in the big backyard. They are FAST!! It actually makes life so much easier having them entertain our very active puppy! We get to just sit back and watch and laugh. We've realized we need 2 things... a big fenced in yard and another dog! But neither of those two are quite feasible just yet. Oh well... at least they are a fun stress-reliever, and between both jobs, I need that this week!

Look at Shelby's crazy huge ears! They actually look bigger in the picture than usual... but she's still got some growing to do to fit into them!

Good news...

I have some exciting news and with it, a prayer request: my mom, my mother-in-law and my aunt Brenda (who just happens to be in town visiting from Florida) are all going with me to the Wave Women's Conference my church is hosting this weekend! Please pray that they would have open & fertile hearts where God's Word can be planted and take root. Pray that we would all be transformed and encouraged this weekend! Thanks friends!

Oh, and here are some new pics of the Shelby-girl with her 3 favorite chew toys...

Her pacifier:

Her crate-buddy (it's like her security blanket!):

And her daddy:

Oral Fixations...

The latest in Shelby-drama (reader-discretion advised):

A couple days ago, Shelby discovered the trashcan in our master bathroom. She tried to get past us carrying tissues, tampons and more... and so far, we'd managed to stop her. Well, yesterday we weren't so quick. I found her in the bathroom with half of a condom in her mouth. Yes, a condom! The other half was nowhere to be found, and I quickly realized that was because she had already swallowed it!!! Ahhhhh!! SHELBY!!! A significant amount was gone and I was afraid it was going to cause a blockage in her little system and surely we'd have to have it surgically removed... how embarassing! I couldn't bear to call the vet, so I had Mike call. Well, apparently, this is a fairly common thing, and the vet told Mike we'd just need to keep a close eye on her. It may pass through, but if it didn't or if she started heaving, we'd need to bring her in and surgery would be necessary. I called into work, told them my puppy swallowed a plastic baggie (no way am I telling my conservative CBN managers that my puppy just ate a condom!) , and I worked from home all day to watch her. Well Shelby seemed un-phased, but it wasn't until this morning and more this afternoon that we knew she'd finally be okay. I found the remains in her stinky-poop and there was so much, I wouldn't be surprised if she actually ate two!

Hopefully my mom-friends can get a good laugh out of this story!! Now that I'm no longer worried we'll have astronomical surgery bills for our curious puppy, I'm sure this is a story we'll be laughing at for years to come...

Reality is the pathway to Dreams-come-true...

God always has eternal purposes in mind. He doesn't just meet one immediate need, neglecting the greater needs and purpose at hand (making us like Jesus). He does provide for us, and He does answer our prayers, but He knows even more than what we ask. He remembers that He is in the business of saving us COMPLETELY. He is transforming us. He is renewing us. He is preparing us.

Here is my carnal mindset: I know what I really want my life to look like, and where I am now is just a filler until I can get to what I really want.

My dreams: I want to raise godly children who love Jesus and live for Him. I want to be the kind of woman who can call others to follow me as I follow Christ. I want to love my husband in such a way that He is enabled and compelled to pursue all that God has for him. I want to be a blessing in the lives that intersect with mine.

Where am I now: I am working 40 hours a week in Marketing... a field that I don't really feel is my niche, but somehow I have been in for about 10 years. I don't wake up with that feeling of drivenness and motivation, knowing that when I go to work, I am accomplishing what only I can. I tend to think, this is just where I am until Mike's career takes off and we can start a family and I don't have to be the "career-woman" anymore. But what's wrong with that perspective?

1. God says: "Whatever you do, work at with all of your heart, as unto Him." You mean I need to not only just show up for work and do what is asked of me, but I need to go above and beyond and put my heart into this, even if naturally, my heart's not in it??
2. God provided this job for me and wants to use it to shape me into who He wants me to be. It's not just about gaining some professional-experience that I don't really care about anyway...but I am challenged and tested daily and it's how I live not just what I do that counts. He is developing my character daily.
3. My calling is not necessarily the same as my dreams. God may have something for me that I would have never picked myself. I do know that He has put me where I am for the current time. I don't feel that this is my "calling" but I do know that this is where He wants me right now. Why do I comply begrudgingly, like an ungrateful child rather than embrace what is before me?
4. I do not know the timing for the next season of my life. Part of my dreams include things that aren't in my life yet. I need to be faithful in a little so that He can entrust me with much. If God is waiting on me to be faithful in my job before He'll move me on, I need to hurry up and get with the program!
5. How can I possibly be the person I want to be, in the life that I so strongly desire, if I'm not being that person right now? If my children were watching me right now, and learning how to live, would I be setting a good example? Would I want them to follow in my footsteps? Wow. That's convicting.

God is good. He is so much more committed to my good than I am. It's humbling to recognize what great lengths He is willing to go to in order to make me what He created me to be. If only I weren't so often blinded by wanting the results without the process. If only I would live daily with all of my heart, unto Him, rather than unto myself. Father, I surrender in your mercy and grace and I give you this moment on. Thanks for being patient with me.

I'm a lucky girl!

What a great husband I have! :) We had a great time together for our first "real" Valentine's Day together last night at our favorite Indian restaurant...and he has planned an awesome long weekend for us, starting with a dog-sitter for Shelby through Sunday, he's turned our dining room into a romantic setting with china and candles and flowers and will be cooking me a gourmet dinner tonight, we're going shopping at IKEA & Potomac Mills tomorrow, lunch at P.F. Changs after church Sunday, and we're taking the day off Monday and are going to get massages (Christmas gift from mom & dad) and go see Fool's Gold (new chick flick I've wanted to see)!! I can't wait!

Faith Restored...

Kohl's DOES give grace! Actually, to be technically-correct, I know it was God who showed me grace, and Kohl's just complied. ;)

(see super long blog below) Result: They took off my returned check fee and gave me another chance to pay it. ;) Yay!

A Tough Break...

Have you ever made an honest mistake that had pretty rough consequences? Well... I just did. I have been working really hard in this one area of my life to be organized and stay on top of things and have given it to God as a matter of faith and am trusting Him to bless my efforts. Hardships and unexpected trials have come and we just persevere. We continue to trust God's provision, and He never fails. And then I go and miss one thing which becomes like this huge thorn in my side and when I try to correct it, I mess up again, not out of neglect, but just an honest oversight. It's so hard to keep everything in this limited brain of mine, and even though I thought I was doing everything I needed do, something just slipped past me. And now I'm having to pay the consequences...And I just want to throw up my hands and quit. That's certainly not an option... but it's just overwhelming sometimes. And in the grown-up world, just saying you're sorry and made a mistake but you'll fix it, no matter how much you mean it, doesn't always give you a second (or third) chance. Sometimes you just have learn lessons the hard way. Or can I beg for grace? Grace = unmerited favor. I know it was my mistake. It's not like anyone owes me another shot at it... but this really was an honest mistake. Not neglect, not avoidance, just a mistake. Does Kohl's administer grace? I sure hope so.

Sigh...

I've become a very frugal shopper. We've really stuck to our new budget, and rarely do just "fun shopping." Well in November, we went to Kohl's to buy Mike some desperately needed new jeans. We found a great deal and even had a coupon for 20% off if I used my Kohl's card (which I've had forever but never use). So we decided, let's do it and we'll just pay it off as soon as the bill comes. $36 was our grand total. That's pretty good for 2 pairs of jeans! Well for the next couple weeks, I kept an eye out for the bill but we never got it. Time passed on, it was Thanksgiving and then Christmas and as you can imagine, I just forgot about it. I never saw the bill. Well last week I got a phone call telling me that we had a bill that was overdue by 2 months and had $50 in late fees. $36 jeans now cost: $87.16. I explained to the girl on the phone that I'd never seen the bill and it was just an honest oversight. It turns out that since I hadn't used the card in about 2 years... the e-mail address on my file was like 3 addresses ago and apparently way back when, I had opted out of receiving paper statements. So email was it. She agreed to drop half of the late fee so long as I made the payment that day. Now the jeans will cost $62. So much for a great deal... So I hurried online, logged in to my account and sent the payment. Then today, I noticed that my bank account hasn't shown that transaction so I went back to Kohl's page to check it out. The $25 late fee was removed, but now there is a new $25 returned check fee and no payment has been made! What?!! That stupid account. I didn't check which checking account it was going to debit... and sure enough it was the one I had BEFORE I got married, which we closed a few months ago. ARGGHHHHH!!!! Can I possibly mess this up anymore?! Now we're back to $87.16. And I am just frustrated beyond belief. Do I call back and explain again and just beg for grace? Or do I just say that some lessons have to be learned the hard way? This time at the tone of $50. Big sigh.... This calls for another handful of the mini chocolate chips I have stashed in my desk drawer!

Shelby Update...

We love it when she's sweet...and asleep!

"Hey, don't you want to come play with me??"

Silly pup! She was in rare form last night!

These are a few recent pictures of Shelby. She had fun playing with Robertson today too (but unfortunately I never pulled the camera out!)